How to prove your dedication to someone who doubts you?
Question by :Pranjal,Support Engineer, Gurgaon
Dear Pranjal, you need not prove your dedication to someone--in your case it is a girl, as you have mentioned in your emails. Remember! There are two emotions which are self-proven and hence require no proof. They are love and dedication.
It is your personal matter. However, I can only tell you what is right with full sympathies to your emotional condition. A doubting person will keep doubting, whatever you do. That doesn't mean you keep proving yourself to him or her. Waste of time. Rather resolve, work your way out and move ahead. If you are right, nature will prove you right some time. Why do what is in the hands of Nature? Isn't it?
The first question arises--why do you want to prove your love to somebody? If it is there, it is there. And why do you get hurt when somebody is not receptive to your pure feelings? The answer to both the questions only shows one thing--you have mistaken attachment for love. Attachment too is love, but of the lowest kind. And its expression too cannot be sublime. True love means respecting other's feelings and never getting engaged in a shopping kind of love. Remember! As long as there is expectation, sense of possession and will to acquire the object of love this way or that way, then there is only shopkeeping --you want something in return--and not love. Giving gifts is a natural expression of love. We all take flowers and sweets to our deity's temple with love. But, why should we get hurt when our flowers, our sweets are given to somebody else and not us? Why can't we reason then that God has done it and not the pujari? Why do we have an ill feeling (maybe momentarily) towards him for not giving OUR Prasadam In RETURN?
The same way dedication doesn't mean somebody should respond to you the way you want--everybody has the right to choose and reject. Shouldn't we allow that to him or her? I will advise you to be bold and face the situation in the spirit--if I succeed I will have my love and if I fail I will be happy as I tried like a true lover.
As long as your mind is upset with the thought that your love isn't responding to you the way she should, you are attached to her. Unless you detach yourself mentally and get rid of the sense of possession, you shall not gain peace of mind. And without peace, you will feel weak. Because, the power lies with the peaceful. Krishna says in Chapter 2 Shloka 71, निर्ममो निरहंकार: स शान्तिमधिगच्छति the one who doesn't have the sense of possession and arrogance, will gain peace.
Therefore, instead of proving your dedication to somebody, you should strive for peace and strength of mind. Remember! A man bonded to an object will always be carried about by the object, like a string tied to a kite--he will lose his independence and the will for movement . A very scary situation, indeed. Just engineer your way out of it mentally.
I pray the right may prevail.--VS