Do expectations play a role in building up a relationship?
Question by: Sarvagya Asthana,Student,Lucknow
No. Expectations mar a relationship. There is only one thing which builds up a healthy relationship. That is acceptance, as ripple less as a salt doll dissolving into water! Acceptance is the seed of love. It
matures into love when it has concretised in you as a fact.
But, if you closely watch inter-human relations, you will find that there is always a conditional acceptance of a person—as long as he/she serves any of your purposes, acceptance stays. But
the moment, it doesn’t, acceptance turns into expectation. Expectation degenerates into disrespect. Disrespect degenerates
into hate and hate turns friend into a foe.I don’t thing expectations play any role in building a relationship.
I used to give a coin to a beggar. Later, he began expecting from me and then his words of blessings turned into curse when I began not to share coin ! Expectation is a double-edged sword. It hurts both—who is expected from and the one who expects.If you want a good relationship then don’t expect and don’t be a cause for expectation for others. Base your relations on acceptance instead. How to do it? Just keep enforcing the basics — don’t expect from me as I don’t from you. Let us base our relationship on this.Gradually love will sprout and you will feel energised . But if you expect, you will be demoralised ! That is why Krishna says in His 12th discourse
shlokas 16, 17 अनपेक्ष:… यो …न द्वेष्टि न शोचति न कांक्षति …स मे प्रिय:।।
“The one who expects not, hates not, worries not, desires not is dear to Me. What does it mean? It means when you expect not, you won't have the feeling of hate and then you won't worry.
Such a person is dear to God, means he is dear to all. God is in all. God is all. He will have healthy inter-human relations. --VS