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Vivek Answers!

How to deal with people who use foul language?

Question by: Shreya Rai, Student,(Bcom 2nd yr), Lucknow


Shreya, it is a good question! As long as you keep feeling agitated by such people, you won’t be able to deal with them. This is for sure. The world is full of good and bad people—the people who vibe well with us and the ones who don’t. But, it is a fact that the latter form a greater challenge than the former.

I wish you had learnt the special technique taught at the krrisha centre to face such challenges. It is called Situational Meditation. It would then have become much easier for you to deal with such people. 
Nevertheless, I give you the dynamics of what really happens. When somebody uses foul language (the language that you don’t like), they are actually exerting pressure on you to adopt their language and become like them! This is the simple principle working out here. Know this, if you tell them not to use this language, they will rebelliously use it even more. But, you are missing the real side of the equation. That is your good behaviour, good language and personality have influenced them. They find you as an unreachable ideal. Believe it or not, you represent their ideal that they have failed to achieve. So, first calm your mind down. Don’t cherish any ill-will against them. Just exert goodness as much as you can. Because, the challenge is revealing a hidden situation—you are their ideal, which is inaccessible for them. I hope you must be pursuing some spiritual practises. Please continue them and remember Krishna’s method to handle such a situation, which He discusses in chapter 15, shloka 5. The opening Sanskrit phrase gives you the tool—Nirmaan moha jitsangdosha….It means through keeping your sense of importance, pride, ego, out of picture can you really gain victory over the ill-effects of an association. This can be achieved through adhyatmanitya—regularly practising the spiritual objective of keeping your ego out of it. What will happen then? Vinivrrittkama—you will snap the bond of energy that you have developed with them and which is affecting you. The moment that bond is gone, you will be out of the conflict—dwandairvimukta. What will happen then? Gacchanti amoodha padamavyayam tat. You will reach the state of undisturbed peace. Now what? The negative energy that was flowing from those abusers to you will be cut off. You being in the state of undisturbed peace will become the source of positive energy flow from you to them. This will keep happening. This positive flow of your energy will now bring about changes among them. But, these changes will take place gradually depending upon the person to person. The first sign will be that they will begin to respect you in one way or the other. There might still be someone who will stick to the negative stand. Don’t bother about that person. Now is the time to minimise association with them. Your absence will help them change faster! 
It is all doable. But, first you have to learn to keep your ego and memory out of it. 
I wish you had joined the situational meditation. It would have worked magically.
Good luck! --VS

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