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vivek answers!

Is it necessary to stay emotionally associated with kin?

Question by: Bhavini Dubey, student, Lucknow

Association is not bad. But, attachment is. Because, it forces you to react in a certain way. The only test is —are you dependent on their presence or have you resolved that you will contribute to the relationship healthily and not interact otherwise? If yes, then there is no problem, if no, then there is a problem.

All associations and interactions are based on  cooperation and coexistence. As long as this principle is fulfilled, there is no problem. But, when expectations rise in relations, presumptions and assumptions become the rule and you mess up all relations under their influence. Inter-human relations can only be maintained by respecting the truth — they are part of my situation and I should know how to handle each relation. Permanency in relationship can only be with the One who has been, who is and who shall always be. This entity represents the idea that is God. One can easily break up relations into certain categories—the broadest can be intimate, close, immediate and distant. Now intimate could be inimical, friendly or neutral. Likewise all others will fall into the three sub-categories interchangeably. Therefore, Krishna says in chapter 6, shloka 9 of the Gita, the person who keeps his mind non-reactive among the friends, well-wishers, neutrals, mediocres , jealous and blood relations, excels in inter-human relations. Why? As none of them can influence them with their negativities. Here Krishna is saying that each relation has an influence on you. It may be well-wishing, friendly, neutral, mixed (some friendly, some neutral and some inimical), inimical, bloodbonds, saintly and sinful. But, if you keep your mind in its natural state among them, without getting carried away by the influence, you are sure to excel! What we always do is react in a certain way in the presence of all kinds of people. Be yourself all the time. Reject that is bad for you and imbibe what is good for you without reacting to them in a certain way. Therefore, whatever the relations, you have to be yourself all the time. Don’t lose yourself under relations. Don’t be overbearing. Just try to be non-disturbing. But, when somebody challenges you, respond in the right manner without losing your cool.--VS

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